Aromanticism

James was working on his math homework when he heard the familiar “ding” of his phone. He picked up his phone and looked at the notification. His phone screen read, “Hey, baby! Just thought of you xoxo  -Brianna”. James sighed and tossed his phone to the side. He thought about how uncomfortable texts from his girlfriend made him. He didn’t know why her feelings made him squirm. It wasn’t normal to feel this way about someone you loved, was it? James didn’t know why he felt the way he did.


Although this was the first relationship James had been in, he discovered something important about himself. He was aromantic.


Unlike asexuality, aromanticism has not gained much public attention. It seems to be an obscure romantic orientation that seems to hide in the shadows. Someone who is aromantic does not experience romantic attraction to others. Romance is a feeling of attachment, or love for someone. However, aromantic people can still experience and enjoy platonic relationships. Romantic affection tends to make aromantic people uncomfortable. This form of affection can include kissing, hugging, and holding hands. Aromantic people are also generally uncomfortable with attachment in relationships, and prefer to keep a strictly sexual relationship with their partner.
Similar to all other romantic and sexual orientations, aromanticism exists on a spectrum. Someone may identify as demiromantic--meaning they feel the need to establish a sexual relationship before they are able to have a healthy romantic relationship.  
Romantic orientation is independent of sexual orientation. For instance, James identifies as both heterosexual and aromantic. People can identify with any combination of sexual and romantic orientation that makes them comfortable.
Someone can also feel romantic attraction for a certain gender identity, and feel sexual attraction for another. You could identify as panromantic (meaning you feel romantic attraction for people regardless of gender identity) and homosexual (meaning you feel sexual attraction to people of your same gender identity). You can also be both asexual (meaning you don’t feel sexual attraction) and aromatic (meaning you don’t feel romantic attraction). People who are aromantic are not necessarily interested in sexual relationships.
Two people who have a romantic attraction to one another are generally said to have “crushes” on each other. In aromantic relationships, these attractions are called “squishes”. Squishes are platonic in nature. Someone who has a squish most likely craves friendship with a particular person.
Being aromantic can be frustrating becuase romantic orientation is not a popular topic of discussion. Making romantic orientations known and supported is going to strengthen the LGBTQ community, and it’s important to let anyone who is questioning know that they are loved. Spreading awareness is the first step to spreading peace and love for romantic orientations of all kinds.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Mr. Costello Is Reading Right Now: Jaylen Brown

Image
Hi MTW! As a teacher and a coach, I am always trying to get my students and players to access their entire human experience and apply it to the skills required for our sport or class.  In teaching 9th graders, I have a lot of fun reading different kinds of narratives throughout the semester and imploring my students to follow their own path for a goal for which they would be a "stone through water."  As a coach, my players must have a mindfulness of their bodies and their process in order to perform at their peak.  The hidden message behind all of these lessons is that the tasks we perform day-to-day in any context, be it the classroom or the playing field, should require our entire concentration in the moments that we are processing them.  Jaylen Brown: ‘We’re having some of the same problems we had 50 years ago. Some things have changed a lot but other factors are deeply embedded in our society.’ Photograph: Brian Babineau/NBAE/Getty Images Jaylen Brown of the Celtic
Read more

What Mr. Costello Is Reading Right Now: Wyatt Walker

Image
Hi MTW! Yesterday Wyatt Walker's obituary came across my news feed and I was jolted a bit because of a chapter that I teach out of Malcolm Gladwell's book "David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants."  The chapter is titled "Wyatt Walker" and it tells the story of some of the critical moves made during the Civil Rights Movement.  Wyatt Walker was the architect behind some of the peaceful protests in Birmingham, AL that led to a national perception shift of the treatment of blacks in the South. Read Walker's obituary here: https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/01/23/obituaries/wyatt-tee-walker-dead.html?referer=http://m.facebook.com "Dr. Walker joined the fledgling Southern Christian Leadership Conference in 1961 and served until 1964 as its executive director and, unofficially, as Dr. King’s right-hand man. At the S.C.L.C., he devised a structured fund-raising strategy and organized numerous protests, including a serie
Read more

The Responsibility of Privilege

Mateo Rull 12th grade Social Justice Magazine Club Frontier Regional School 9/28/2017 “ I am white. That’s all you know about me. Am I privileged based on that alone? And assuming I am, should I feel guilt? And what should I do about it?" Stand up comedian Omar Ismail answers this long and ambiguous question in the most graceful way: comparing white privilege to height, liberating himself from the controversy (which is bound to happen regardless) of racial debate; debate that in fact should not exist at all. A debate that originated from sheer ignorance in times past and that somehow we haven’t managed as a species to overcome. “Consider it this way, All I know about you is that you’re tall. Does that mean you don’t deserve the can of tuna on the higher shelf? Should you feel guilty about getting the tuna from the top shelf? Does that mean short people can’t get the tuna? Does that mean there aren’t any disadvantages of being tall?” No, No, No and No. What tru
Read more